the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I didn't notice because vodka
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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