ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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