Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Watching her eat just hurts me
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
