I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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