i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
