It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
