I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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