It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize