Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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