i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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