Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
