I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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