So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
