don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize