You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
