i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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