glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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