are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
