just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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