The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
