she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
