i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You pole danced in your parka.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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