Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
