also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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