I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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