She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
