I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
