Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
