its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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