What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
