She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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