I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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