I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
