So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
