Screwed.edu
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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