The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
