I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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