I'm drive I can fine osifer
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
