just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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