You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
