There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Princesses don't give blow jobs
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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