is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
