Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
