I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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