I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
