I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
