I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Randomize
