after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
