There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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