Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
