Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
