I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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