hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
