How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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