her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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