just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
