so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
