She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
