i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
