Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
