please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
