Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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