That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
