but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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