in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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