so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
