We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
