Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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