You're my little dorito
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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